The manager obviously had enough awareness to not allow a 'fine' to pass by her but sadly made the mistake of not stopping at "Thanks for the feedback". A seasoned manager would've scored brownie points by unceremoniously removing the pie from the check.
We were at a favorite restaurant last night. It was unusually busy and the why was obvious shortly after we sat down - almost every server was brand new with neither the owner nor seasoned servers nearby. We debated leaving and chose instead to imagine it a relaxed eating experience. The normally hour-long dinner last nearly two hours, had to ask for the drink refill, and optimized by asking for the check and to-go containers when the (very harried) server came by to check on us. Chose not to complain, not to penalize on gratuity, and just enjoyed the dinner as it happened. Though I failed to say it earlier -- the food was stellar and slowing down kept us from overeating. Bonus - One of the seasoned servers, helping in the back, spotted me and just brought the fried jalapenos rolled in chili pepper that I crave with my food without being asked.
That's so great--I love to hear stories about a staff handling grace under pressure. It's a joy to feel in great hands even when the going gets tough. And they were lucky to have you as customers last night!
I was once interrogated tableside and mid-conversation at a large mid-priced chain restaurant for sending back a really bad, still full margarita. Even had my husband sample it before just asking the server to remove it because it tasted … weird. The manager arrived soon after and spent several minutes at our table, interruping our conversation with our guests, to ask me to explain the problem while she stood on the other side of the table from me. I told her I didn’t care if she charged us for it, even though we’d only had two or three sips, and no, I was not interested in another margarita or other drink from the bar. I said I could not explain why it tasted weird, maybe it was just me, but it was unlike any other margarita I’d ever had.
She seemed genuinely dissatisfied with my response, explaining that she said she needed feedback for the bartender. I was so annoyed at the lengthy interruption. I wasn’t even planning to complain at all because my focus was on our guests, not the food. We tipped our waiter extra before we left because he had to work for such an idiot.
I guess I understand her need to try to make it right, but in the end, she just made it worse, imo.
Wow. That's so unfair that they required you to tell them exactly what was wrong with the margarita. That's work!
I have worked as a professional food editor/writer for 25 years; for many of those years, I would sit on taste panels in the Meredith Test Kitchen, and I learned to be very specific about the critiquing a recipe--that is, why it didn't live up to our standards. It's something you expect from a professional.
Even so, when the manager asked me what was wrong with the rhubarb pie, it probably took me a lot of time and words to get the gist of what I said above (that's why I wrote, "I said, (in so many words)." By the end of my critique, I was exhausted!
IT'S HARD WORK CRITIQUING FOOD! And it is not something you should require your guests to do. You sent it back upon having a sip or two. You explained it tasted off to you. It's not like you drank the whole thing and then complained! Good heavens. I can see why you were annoyed. I'm annoyed!
My situation was made kind of weirder by the fact that we DID finish the pie (there was enough ice cream in another bowl to help it slide down), so I most certainly had no intention of complaining. I figure once you finish something, you don't get to complain. But I was pressed.
Yup! The more expensive the dish is, the more I might say something. I mean, it's one thing to just let it go if it's a subpar piece of pie, but if it's a $55 entree? I'll probably speak up. But again, if I'm someone's guest, or if the goings-on at the table is much more important, I might let it go.
I know. I hate doing it, but then...how is anyone going to know when things matter?
A couple years ago, a highly acclaimed chef told me that his patrons didn't care about the expertise of his servers. They just wanted "nice" servers who smiled a lot. Expertise didn't matter.
I said--oh, customers will walk over hot coals before they'll tell you that they care about service, because telling you that service matters sounds so "bourgeois." But believe me, when they're paying the kind of prices they're paying at your restaurant, they're noticing whether or not your server knows how to wait a table and time a meal...
So...sometimes you do have to tell a restaurateur things matter, or they'll assume they don't.
Respectfully disagree, Wini, evidenced just last weekend in Highlands Park. Unacceptable plates were replaced with the same and our server could muster only “still workin’ on that?” No question from the house but that I would pay the tab so I felt obliged to explain why no tip would come forth. Must say I envied the equanimity with which this was accepted :^O
Good article! Though tbh I feel like the manager was trying to take responsibility and correct the situation and I would have appreciated her asking me to elaborate. Just shows everyone is so different. Thx for sharing your perspective.
Her intentions were good. However, as a professional server, I learned how to take cues. When someone said something was "fine" but didn't gush, I knew it meant, "I didn't love it, but that's OK. I just want to move on." (There are visual cues involved, too. Truly experienced servers pick up on this so well, and it always makes me so grateful.)
However, I also recognize we live in a different era. People are getting so used to high praise anymore, and if they don't get it, they feel they deserve to know why. I think this is unfortunate.
At this restaurant, which, frankly, I found just "OK" in quite a few other ways, I overheard other diners answering servers' "how is everything" queries with "terrific!" and "great!" I was surprised, as the food was all decent, but not by any means "terrific." It made me wonder if the diners had learned to use superlatives so that they don't get caught in the kind of kerfuffle that I found myself in!
I really appreciate your comment. Again, I do agree that her intentions were good--they truly did want to know if things are off, and that's an excellent sign. After all is said and done, it's better that than if they didn't care at all, right?
This actually reminded me, or perhaps made me aware, that I frequently do the same thing (fake superlatives) when I’m not thrilled with the food. I think you’re exactly right, to indicate you’re not all that happy with your meal takes extra effort and I usually don’t want to go there.
Wow, I needed this today! We just went to John & Nick's on Saturday night and the exact same thing happened. I didn't want to complain about my very dry and overly tough pork chop. To be honest, the flavor was good. When the waiter cleared our plates I told him about it and he seemed mad that I didn't tell him sooner. I didn't want to complain as we were trying to enjoy a nice dinner. He went and got the manager and he jumped all over me and asked why I didn't tell someone sooner. Again, I didn't want to complain. He offered to make me another one to take home, of which I said no because it was 8:00 at night. No offer to remove it from my bill or anything and they both acted liked I had insulted them to their core. We don't plan to go back anytime soon.
The manager obviously had enough awareness to not allow a 'fine' to pass by her but sadly made the mistake of not stopping at "Thanks for the feedback". A seasoned manager would've scored brownie points by unceremoniously removing the pie from the check.
We were at a favorite restaurant last night. It was unusually busy and the why was obvious shortly after we sat down - almost every server was brand new with neither the owner nor seasoned servers nearby. We debated leaving and chose instead to imagine it a relaxed eating experience. The normally hour-long dinner last nearly two hours, had to ask for the drink refill, and optimized by asking for the check and to-go containers when the (very harried) server came by to check on us. Chose not to complain, not to penalize on gratuity, and just enjoyed the dinner as it happened. Though I failed to say it earlier -- the food was stellar and slowing down kept us from overeating. Bonus - One of the seasoned servers, helping in the back, spotted me and just brought the fried jalapenos rolled in chili pepper that I crave with my food without being asked.
That's so great--I love to hear stories about a staff handling grace under pressure. It's a joy to feel in great hands even when the going gets tough. And they were lucky to have you as customers last night!
I would like to know where I can get a good piece of rhubarb pie! Best i had was at Darrells in Hamlin
I've had a couple people email me and ask me where to get a good rhubarb pie. I wish I had an answer for that one!
I was once interrogated tableside and mid-conversation at a large mid-priced chain restaurant for sending back a really bad, still full margarita. Even had my husband sample it before just asking the server to remove it because it tasted … weird. The manager arrived soon after and spent several minutes at our table, interruping our conversation with our guests, to ask me to explain the problem while she stood on the other side of the table from me. I told her I didn’t care if she charged us for it, even though we’d only had two or three sips, and no, I was not interested in another margarita or other drink from the bar. I said I could not explain why it tasted weird, maybe it was just me, but it was unlike any other margarita I’d ever had.
She seemed genuinely dissatisfied with my response, explaining that she said she needed feedback for the bartender. I was so annoyed at the lengthy interruption. I wasn’t even planning to complain at all because my focus was on our guests, not the food. We tipped our waiter extra before we left because he had to work for such an idiot.
I guess I understand her need to try to make it right, but in the end, she just made it worse, imo.
Wow. That's so unfair that they required you to tell them exactly what was wrong with the margarita. That's work!
I have worked as a professional food editor/writer for 25 years; for many of those years, I would sit on taste panels in the Meredith Test Kitchen, and I learned to be very specific about the critiquing a recipe--that is, why it didn't live up to our standards. It's something you expect from a professional.
Even so, when the manager asked me what was wrong with the rhubarb pie, it probably took me a lot of time and words to get the gist of what I said above (that's why I wrote, "I said, (in so many words)." By the end of my critique, I was exhausted!
IT'S HARD WORK CRITIQUING FOOD! And it is not something you should require your guests to do. You sent it back upon having a sip or two. You explained it tasted off to you. It's not like you drank the whole thing and then complained! Good heavens. I can see why you were annoyed. I'm annoyed!
My situation was made kind of weirder by the fact that we DID finish the pie (there was enough ice cream in another bowl to help it slide down), so I most certainly had no intention of complaining. I figure once you finish something, you don't get to complain. But I was pressed.
Thanks for this story. Yikes.
I love a good rhubarb pie! I love any rhubarb dessert in the spring/summer.
I don't like complaining, but sometimes it's necessary especially if it was a splurge item.
Yup! The more expensive the dish is, the more I might say something. I mean, it's one thing to just let it go if it's a subpar piece of pie, but if it's a $55 entree? I'll probably speak up. But again, if I'm someone's guest, or if the goings-on at the table is much more important, I might let it go.
It’s a balancing act for sure
I know. I hate doing it, but then...how is anyone going to know when things matter?
A couple years ago, a highly acclaimed chef told me that his patrons didn't care about the expertise of his servers. They just wanted "nice" servers who smiled a lot. Expertise didn't matter.
I said--oh, customers will walk over hot coals before they'll tell you that they care about service, because telling you that service matters sounds so "bourgeois." But believe me, when they're paying the kind of prices they're paying at your restaurant, they're noticing whether or not your server knows how to wait a table and time a meal...
So...sometimes you do have to tell a restaurateur things matter, or they'll assume they don't.
Oh yeah. There are times when I feel no choice. What the place implies they do plays a role
let me know when you figure out how to give restaurant feedback with grace and tact hahah
LOL! Actually, I do know how to do this! This was not my finest hour, by any means.
Respectfully disagree, Wini, evidenced just last weekend in Highlands Park. Unacceptable plates were replaced with the same and our server could muster only “still workin’ on that?” No question from the house but that I would pay the tab so I felt obliged to explain why no tip would come forth. Must say I envied the equanimity with which this was accepted :^O
My rhubarb is just about ready for second harvest. Maybe you can sample one of our special family recipes this summer. It’s a tricky ingredient.
I adore anything rhubarb!!! I'll be over whenever it's ready!
Good article! Though tbh I feel like the manager was trying to take responsibility and correct the situation and I would have appreciated her asking me to elaborate. Just shows everyone is so different. Thx for sharing your perspective.
Her intentions were good. However, as a professional server, I learned how to take cues. When someone said something was "fine" but didn't gush, I knew it meant, "I didn't love it, but that's OK. I just want to move on." (There are visual cues involved, too. Truly experienced servers pick up on this so well, and it always makes me so grateful.)
However, I also recognize we live in a different era. People are getting so used to high praise anymore, and if they don't get it, they feel they deserve to know why. I think this is unfortunate.
At this restaurant, which, frankly, I found just "OK" in quite a few other ways, I overheard other diners answering servers' "how is everything" queries with "terrific!" and "great!" I was surprised, as the food was all decent, but not by any means "terrific." It made me wonder if the diners had learned to use superlatives so that they don't get caught in the kind of kerfuffle that I found myself in!
I really appreciate your comment. Again, I do agree that her intentions were good--they truly did want to know if things are off, and that's an excellent sign. After all is said and done, it's better that than if they didn't care at all, right?
This actually reminded me, or perhaps made me aware, that I frequently do the same thing (fake superlatives) when I’m not thrilled with the food. I think you’re exactly right, to indicate you’re not all that happy with your meal takes extra effort and I usually don’t want to go there.
Thanks! I didn't realize it until I thought about it--but I find myself doing that, too!
Wow, I needed this today! We just went to John & Nick's on Saturday night and the exact same thing happened. I didn't want to complain about my very dry and overly tough pork chop. To be honest, the flavor was good. When the waiter cleared our plates I told him about it and he seemed mad that I didn't tell him sooner. I didn't want to complain as we were trying to enjoy a nice dinner. He went and got the manager and he jumped all over me and asked why I didn't tell someone sooner. Again, I didn't want to complain. He offered to make me another one to take home, of which I said no because it was 8:00 at night. No offer to remove it from my bill or anything and they both acted liked I had insulted them to their core. We don't plan to go back anytime soon.